Well I recently ran out of my Lucky Dice skate wax, and didn't have the money to buy more. What did I do in a terribly horrifying situation like this? I made my own, and I'll teach you how to make your own skate wax.

WARNING: Don't listen to anything I say in this article, because there is always the risk that you could totally fuck up and blow your house to smithereens, cut your hands off, or get eaten by zombified zebra corpses.

First, you need four vital components. You're gonna need about 4 crayons, 1 candle, 1 bar of soap, and a microwave. Also, you might need some matches if the microwave won't melt the candle. First, break the crayons into little pieces and put them in a glass bottle. Snapple bottles work well. Put the soap in it too. Microwave with the cap off for 30 seconds on high power. Microwave again for 45 seconds or until completely liquefied. Shake up the bottle until nicely blended. Then nuke it again for 40 seconds. Then put the candle in the bottle, provided you picked a tall candle. Light the candle and don't touch until its melted good.

If it's possible, try to get the candle wick out of the wax. If it's truly and sincerely impossible, too fuckin' bad. Then microwave it again for 50 seconds. Let your liquid wax solidify. Once it is no longer a liquid, lightly tap the bottle with a hammer until it cracks. Peel the pieces of glass off without cutting yourself. Once the wax is completely free of the glass bottle, smother it all over your deck and go boardslide something.

I got in a shitload of trouble trying to make skate wax. I microwaved it without the lid for 6 minutes. When I pulled it out, my dog barked and I jumped backwards, spilling the liquid wax all over the front of my shirt and pants, the floor, and my whole left hand. It hurts like hell when you get melted crayons plastered over your hand. As I was cleaning up the now-solid wax from the kitchen floor, my mom walked in and that was the end of my attempt at making skate wax. It was also the end of my unsupervised microwave privileges.

--Kyle.